Anatomy of a panic attack

There is a subtle but important difference between the triggers and underlying causes of anxiety, and sometimes it can be hard to recognize this difference without help. Triggers are usually small, specific instances that put you on alert. Underlying causes are more about why you're feeling the anxiety - what you're actually thinking about. Clues to these can often … Continue reading Anatomy of a panic attack

Where we are now

I have to admit, there was a time when I never thought I would make it to where I am now. Anxiety is hard, guys. Really hard. And the healing work is hard, too. Every step of this process has its own challenges, and when I look back on it, I'm kind of amazed at … Continue reading Where we are now

What I talk about when I talk about anxiety

I've written a lot about what panic attacks are like, and things you can do to calm yourself down. What I haven't really talked about it was the low-grade anxiety is like; the stuff that slowly builds and is just kind of always there in the background. I'm fortunate in that I don't live with the … Continue reading What I talk about when I talk about anxiety

Pilgrim’s progress

When I was younger, I absolutely loved Little Women. As in, read it more than once a year, felt Jo's anger and sadness every time Amy burned her book, cried every time Beth died, felt joy every time one of the sisters found their partner. It remains to this day one of my favorites. I remember … Continue reading Pilgrim’s progress

Some things I’ve learned about anxiety

I was looking at my Symple data the other day and I noticed that I've only had one panic attack in the last six months. And while I've clearly felt some anxiety in that time, it's been pretty mild. (That blip in the data is the month where I felt like Symple wasn't helping me anymore … Continue reading Some things I’ve learned about anxiety

Some awesome stuff that’s been on the interwebs

Most of these are from the Huffington Post because, let's face it, Huffpo is kicking ass on the mental health front. Michelle Obama, the queen (sorry Beyonce): Let's Change the Conversation Around Mental Health Humans of New York: Anxiety photo The Huffington Post: When is it OK to Claim You're Having a Panic Attack? Some … Continue reading Some awesome stuff that’s been on the interwebs

When you least expect it

One of the things I'm slowly learning about my anxiety is what triggers it and when to expect it. For instance, there's usually some anxiety around some kind of confrontation or confession, and there is always some around traveling. My therapist also thinks (and I agree) that I'm more susceptible when I haven't been doing … Continue reading When you least expect it

A terrible horrible no good very bad day

Awful. Awful, awful awful. When I woke up this morning, I thought, hmm. Still anxious, but less. Maybe today will be ok. Fast forward a few hours to lunchtime when two of my students walked in on me sobbing at my desk, and then a few hours later to me leaving work early, which is something … Continue reading A terrible horrible no good very bad day

The Beginning

I'm sitting on the bathroom floor, back against the tub, sobbing as quietly as possible. I've been up since 5am, alternately dry heaving - because I haven't been able to eat - and pressing my palms into my eyes, knees curled to my chin. The first couple of times, I tried to go back to … Continue reading The Beginning