It’s been a while, I know. And that’s because I’ve been working on a few projects that have taken up a bunch of time.
Project 1: We’re moving to Raleigh in a couple of weeks! This will be the first time in my adult life that I’m living somewhere other than New York(well, except when I lived in Sydney for six months) and I’m super excited. Pandemic life in New York has been tough, and we’re really ready to go. Plus, we get to be closer to Bird and the brother, and that’s awesome. We’re looking forward to having more room, more outdoor space, and less extreme winters. One of the biggest draws for us are all of the ways to get outside in nature; here you can’t go outside without smelling someone’s cigarette or pot smoke, hearing someone’s loud music, or walking around the same park over and over. I’ve never really loved New York and, while I liked being one of eight million for a long time, I’m ready for somewhere a little quieter where I can get outside all year round. I’ve discovered this year how important that is for my mental health, and I’m excited for the shift.
Project 2: We’ve got a little one arriving in September! Everyone is healthy, and I’m feeling good now that first trimester is over(it was rough). Another reason why I didn’t write as much last year was that I miscarried last July, and, while we knew that it was a possibility, it was tough. I have a post specifically about that in the works, so if you’re interested in hearing about my experience, you will. So far, the anxiety around this has been pretty chill. In the first trimester I felt so crappy all of the time that I didn’t have mental space to be anxious about it. Now that I’m in my second trimester and we’re (mostly) out of the danger zone, there’s not much to be anxious about besides the normal stuff. I’ve been ramping up my reading and starting to look at things we’ll need to buy, which is helping me feel more prepared. I haven’t had any major freakouts – though we’re a long way from the end – but I did have a moment where I put together my knowledge of the 10cm dilation that happens during birth and how big that actually is and immediately texted my sister “my body is going to do what now?!”
Understandably, these two things plus working full time plus a pandemic have meant there’s not much time for other stuff, and when there is, mental health takes priority: making sure I’m doing yoga, going to therapy, and relaxing. And now that it’s warmer, we’re trying to see friends as much as possible before we move because we are really, really going to miss our people here. I’m trying not to think about it too much because I know this is the thing about moving that’s going to be incredibly tough.
I’ll try to be better about updating after we move, but I gotta be real here: once kiddo arrives all bets are off. I’m hoping to find space to write here after the first craziness dies down, because this is a great outlet and I love connecting with you all.
I hope that, if the last year and change has been hard for you – as it has for most of us – that you’re finding things that bring you joy and hope again.