The thing that has always been hardest for me in terms of anxiety - and life in general, if I'm honest - is managing my expectations. I am terrible at this. I've been working on it for years, and though I'm better than I used to be, I struggle with it daily. It doesn't help … Continue reading Expectation vs. Reality
teaching
Still, after all this time
You know what really gets to me? How after years of therapy and all the rest, anxiety still gets to be like Nope, I'm in charge now and do whatever the fuck it wants until I calm down. I went to bed early last night because, even though I've been going to bed on time, teaching … Continue reading Still, after all this time
After November 8th
I have a lot of feelings about this election and its aftermath. I'm trying to sort through those, and this platform will probably be part of that. I'm working to check my privilege at every opportunity. I'm trying to have hope. I'm working to take actionable steps, because I don't do enough of that. I'm working hard … Continue reading After November 8th
Change of Time
HIIIIII. I'm doing poorly at posting as often as I usually do. I'm sorry about that. There's a lot happening. First up, as I've mentioned, the new school year has been pretty good. But stressful. I feel like I've been playing catch-up since we started, and though I know that won't always be the case, … Continue reading Change of Time
Teenagers are pretty awesome.
HI GUYS. It's been a while. Forgive me. I'm been in school mode and it's been hectic and tiring and I feel like I don't quite have enough time for everything. Yet. It's also been pretty great, though, in more ways than one. Not only do I have a couple of students who have advocated … Continue reading Teenagers are pretty awesome.
Little faith
Remember how I told you guys in my last post that I ended up just straight up telling the whole freshman class that I have anxiety? It has already paid off. At the beginning of each year, I have my students fill out a sheet about who they are. At the bottom, I give them … Continue reading Little faith
Hit the ground running
We've officially finished the first week of school! I'm exhausted. All the teachers out there know what I'm talking about; on Thursday I was so tired that I couldn't even take the dog for a walk, and on Friday when I went to bed I got about 2 pages into my book before I fell … Continue reading Hit the ground running
All apologies
I owe you guys a big apology. I've been doing a horrible job of posting lately. To be honest, I'm in some pretty intense denial that I have to go back to school a week from tomorrow. As excited as I am for my Hunger Games-themed classroom decorations, I haven't gotten my head around all … Continue reading All apologies
Working while anxious
One of the biggest struggles I've had with this whole anxiety thing is figuring out how to handle it at work. While this is tough for everyone, my job as a teacher has some very specific challenges that make dealing with anxiety really difficult. It's my responsibility to manage and guide the behavior or 30-some … Continue reading Working while anxious
Or maybe not
I think the thing I love/hate about anxiety the most is how quickly it changes. For instance, yesterday, I was all super pumped about how well my anxiety checklist worked and how proud I am of myself for managing it. Today, I started my morning with an oversize dose of pepto bismal and am eating … Continue reading Or maybe not
it's only fear 